A lesser peril of social interaction.

So Percy’s this handsome boy, genuinely beautiful in this windswept effortless way, on whose profile picture smile your eyes linger overlong as you scroll through the suggested friends on your Facebook feed. You’ve never met him in person, but he and you share a mutual friend through your roommate. Apparently he’s a big presence in her theatre club.

In your fantasies you meet him, and how does it go? You’re in some social function, an auditorium repurposed into a ballroom. He’ll catch your eye, you’ll catch his, and through some trick of gravity you’ll find yourself wandering over to his table. You’ll smile your sweetest as you extend your hand. Ah, you must be Percy, you’ll say. Rebecca’s told me so much about you.

He’ll raise an eyebrow. Only good things, I assume? His voice drips in velvet elegance.

You’ll laugh heartily. Of course! It’s so nice to finally meet you. Isn’t this a grand evening for a dance?

Say no more, he’ll say, rising from his seat, accepting your hand in his, whisking you onto the dance floor—

One drab evening in a dining hall, you’re carrying your fried chicken dish back to your own table, but there he is! And he’s eating dinner with your roommate! Just the two of them. She spots you and waves you over. “Hey, great to see you here! Percy, this is my roommate Lauren. Lauren, this is Percy from Pucker & Clench.”

And you’ll extend your one free hand and before you can realise wait, conversationally that doesn’t work as a response, you’ll say to him, “Ah, you must be Percy.”