At long last we found ourselves in an earthen antechamber. Before us a golden glimmering gate stood twice our height. Inscribed in its doors were pictographs covering every last square inch. Torches lined the walls at eye height. Beside the gate to the right stood a towering Idol.

Enja drew her sword and advanced, the rest of us following closely behind. I could feel Olenna’s hand trembling in mine. We were ten feet from the door when the Idol flashed its eyes and spoke in booming stentorian tones:

“Welcome, brave travellers. Do you seek entry to the Court of the Gods?”

“Yes,” boomed Enja, attempting to match the Idol in stentorianness.

“The Court of the Gods lies behind this Golden Gate. You have endured many trials to reach it. In order to open the Golden Gate, you must complete one final trial. There is no shame in turning back. Are you ready?”

“We are ready,” said Enja.

“And the rest of you?”

“Yeah, we’re ready,” we mumbled, in various states of quivering.

“Very well.”

Boom! The doors behind us closed up and vanished into the walls, leaving our party to the mercy of torchlight. In front of us a cauldron of solid gold, roughly the size and shape of a bathtub, rose from the ground. Flames licked its base. The Idol continued:

“For your final trial, you must sacrifice one member of your group in the Golden Cauldron.”

“WHAT?” cried Olenna. “Seriously? Oh my god. Oh my god. Fuck no.”

Enja turned to the rest of us. “Maybe we can find a way around this.”

“Like what?” asked Tanner.

“There is no finding a way around this,” the Idol boomed. “No funny business. No loopholes. One of you goes in the Golden Cauldron. Chop chop.”

Enja looked at the four of us. We looked around at each other.

“Let’s sacrifice Tanner,” Pern said brightly.

“What the HELL?” cried Tanner.

“Yeah, let’s sacrifice Tanner,” Olenna agreed.

Enja nodded. “Looks like we’re coming to a decision. Tanner, we’re sacrificing you.”

Tanner stood agasp. “What the—? You’re all—surely you’re not serious! Why me? What have I done? Please for the love of God—”

Pern and Olenna seized him and began to carry him to the cauldron.

“Enja! Loryn! Help me! Loryn, please tell them no, please—”

“Nope,” I said, “we’re sacrificing you.” Enja and I stepped in to give Pern and Olenna a hand as we carted him over to his funeral pyre under the watchful gaze of the Idol.

“WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK LORYN EVERYBODY YOU’RE OUT OF YOUR MINDS PLEASE NO STOP LET ME DOWN LET ME DOWN I CAN’T—”

We heaved him into the bowl, and instantly he burst into flames. He cried out in ear-splitting agony, writhing, screaming, clawing at his melting face, and after a minute or two it all stopped. The flames flickered out as swiftly as they erupted, and nothing remained but a pile of ash.

“Congratulations,” boomed the Idol, as the cauldron sunk back into the ground and the double doors of the gate receded outward, revealing a crystalline walkway into a grand unearthly chamber which shimmered under an ambient skylight. “Welcome to the Court of the Gods. You may proceed.”