The two women appeared on the doorstep of my cabin. The short one held a couple of papers.

“Are you Margaretha the goat-herder?” the tall one asked.

“Yes,” I said. “How can I help you?”

“You must be proud of the great natural Alpine beauty which surrounds your lodge.”

“Yes, I am. The mountains, the creek, the fields, all of it is beautiful,” I said. “But, madams, I am not looking to sell my property.”

The short one laughed. “No, that is not what we are here for.” The tall one nodded.

“Then what are you here for?” I asked.

“You must be aware,” the short one began, “of the incredible attention that your farm has attracted over the summer.”

“Oh?” I asked. I had noticed an increase of sightseers on the mountain trails, but I would hardly call that incredible attention. “What sort of attention?”

The short one glanced at the tall one, who glanced back at the short one, who cleared her throat. “Over the summer, your farm and its surroundings have gone viral on TikTok, due to their uncanny resemblance to a backdrop from The Sound of Music. Influencers from around the world have been, pardon the pun, flocking into the area, trying to outdo each other pretending to be Julie Andrews.” With grand gestures she began to sing, but horribly, “The hills are alive! With the sound of music—”

She stopped, meekly. “It’s like a viral challenge, you see.”

“The point is,” the tall one interjected, “your goats have now become TikTok-famous.”

“I see,” I said, not seeing. “And what do you want me to do about this?”

“We have an opportunity for you.”

“Which is?”

“Are you familiar with PeriWorks?”

“Not in the slightest.”

“We’re a software company in Silicon Valley, specialising in document integrity. One of our flagship products is SecureSign, which is kind of like DocuSign if you’ve heard of that.”

“No.”

“Well, as representatives from PeriWorks, we’d like to give you five hundred Euros a month.”

“In exchange for?”

“You signing these papers that my colleague is holding.” The short one held them out to me. “They would allow us to brand your goats with the PeriWorks SecureSign logo.”

“Why on earth would you do that?”

“Well, influencers will continue to feature your goats in their videos. And with PeriWorks SecureSign burnished across the full bodies of the goats, our brand awareness will continue to grow.”

“Product placement, basically,” added the short one.

“Absolutely not.”

“Six hundred Euros,” she suggested.

“Please leave at once.”

“Seven hundred,” the tall one amended.

“And do not come back.”

The two women exchanged another glance. “Very well,” the short one snarled, thrusting her papers into my arms. “We’ll give you twenty-four hours to think it over, Margaretha the goat herder.”

Once they were out of sight, I fed the papers to my goats.