I have a truly terrible idea.

Are you ready?

A text-based dancing simulation Web app.

People seeking to dance would create an account, username and password and all, and the Web app would assign them a “dance partner”. Then they would enter a “dance”, and it would proceed like this.

On the screen is a short passage of text. It runs as follows:

The user would select an option from the menu, and the Web app would inform her partner of the move that she selected. In the next iteration they would be in a new position, and the menu of moves might be different, and so on, and so forth, until the dance concludes.

This is a truly pitiful way to approximate the experience of dancing. It’s roughly akin to reading about orange juice instead of drinking orange juice.

To maximise the suckiness of this experience, I suggest the following enhancements.

The UI would be entirely nonexistent. No stylesheets. Just bare HTML pages, a plain white background with black serif text and bare links at the top left corner.

Progression would be vaguely gamified, with more “advanced” moves requiring a certain number of points to unlock. Points could be earned through repeated dancing. (This may give new meaning to the word “grinding”.)

The dancer in the Follow role would have very little say in where the dance is going. Roles would be restricted by verified biological sex.

There would be an option to chat in the bottom right corner.