Who will be at King Charles’ coronation? … Short answer: Just about everyone. Aside from the royal family, you can expect to see royals from many countries in attendance, including president Joe Biden and his wife Jill …

September 2022.

The staffer outside the Oval Office led me in. “Sarah Crowley-Smith, on behalf of Buckingham Palace,” she announced.

The president of the United States was standing in the centre of the room, wearing a folksy grin. “Thanks Janelle,” he said to the staffer, who promptly left, closing the door behind her. “What can I do for you, Sarah?”

“President Biden. On behalf of Buckingham Palace I’d like to extend you and your wife an invitation to the coronation of His Majesty King Charles the Third in June of next year.”

The president smiled. “I’m sure we can make that happen. The UK has always been one of our strongest allies, and Jill and I would be happy to lend our presence to King Charles’s coronation. Anything else?”

I took a breath. “Well, uh, the other thing is, we will need to make you royals.”

“What?”

“Many countries will be sending their royals, and in order for you and your wife to be seated among them, you will have to be royalty yourself.”

“That … that isn’t really a thing, is it? Surely that’s not a thing we have to do? Did past presidents do this?”

“Well, we haven’t done a coronation since 1953, so we were surprised to find this requirement in the Coronation Preparation Papers when we unearthed them last week.”

“That … makes things difficult.”

“We can make it work,” I said. “With a minimum of fuss, we can, perhaps, establish the Royal House of Biden on June 3, 2023 and dissolve it later the same day, immediately upon the conclusion of the ceremony.”

“Sarah,” the president said, “I’m prohibited from receiving titles of nobility. It’s in our Constitution. The Foreign Emoluments Clause. We literally fought a whole war of independence over things like this.”

“But you can receive titles of nobility with the consent of your Congress.”

“Technically yes, but that’s never gonna happen.”

“But you can?”

“Look,” the president said, exasperated, “we’d still love to attend, but is there any way around this royalty thing? Can Jill and I just … sit in a different section?”

“That … would be awkward.”

The president hung his head. “Yes,” he sighed, “that would be awkward.”