I find myself unduly tickled by that conversational convention in role-playing video games: the dialogue options. Natural language processing being a royal headache, video game designers almost universally resort to dialogue trees to bring interactivity to interpersonal interactions. It’s like multiple-choice conversation.
Pern, my friend! Good to see you back in town. Will you join me in the tavern?
(A) Of course, I’d love to! Will you walk me there?
(B) Gosh, I didn’t know you were such a drinker!
(C) Sorry, I’ve got other business to do first.
I wish I could enable multiple-choice conversations in real life. Instead of worrying about the open-ended millions of things I could say, and falling into that dreaded trap of freezing up on the spot, I’d be much more comfortable if I only had to select from three to five premade options. Hey, everybody’s at least a little socially anxious.
Why do you think you’d be a good fit for our company?
(A) I honestly don’t know yet. Isn’t that what the other rounds of interviews are for?
(B) For one thing, I’ve always wanted to make a positive difference in the world. I think that what you are doing for these kids is amazing and fits very well with how I want to spend my time. For another, I really admire your commitment to serving underrepresented communities, and from my years of community volunteering, I know how to effect change from the ground up.
(C) That’s such a canned interview question. Can we just, like, have a real conversation?
(D) I think I could fit right in as an outreach coördinator. I have years of experience reaching out to people, from friends to acquaintances to strangers, and organising events that bring a high level of engagement from the community. I know you are short on staffing, and I think I am well-positioned to bring my people-wrangling expertise to the table.
(E) Um. Uh, the actor playing me has forgotten her lines.
Just don’t ask me to design the premade options. I will have too much fun.
Hey Lauren, wanna go see a movie later with us?
(A) Of course, crazy horse! I’m always down.
(B) Hmm, it depends, my friends. What movie were y’all thinking?
(C) I am the LORD thy GOD, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. Thou shalt have no other gods before me. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.
(D) Sorry, I’ve got too much homework to-night. Catch you later, alligator?
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