If you are reading this note, it means that I am dead. Which is all the more liberating to me, for I have many confessions that I could never have made during my lifetime. I shall restrain myself to three.

First, I am Banksy. I claim all responsibility for those mysterious and subversive works of street art that have popped up around London and mesmerised you so. I am very, very satisfied to have given the world Balloon Girl and to have had it shredded at Sotheby’s. Now it can be known.

Second, I am Elena Ferrante. All the works that have been published under that name are mine. In particular I am proud to have brought Lila and Lenù and their complex, fractured friendship to life, and very pleased to find that their tale has touched millions of readers across generations. Now it can be known.

Third, I am Satoshi Nakamoto. When I published my white paper on Bitcoin, I had not imagined that decentralised currency would transform the economy as quickly as it did. In retrospect, I am honoured to have spearheaded the blockchain revolution. Now it can be known.

I admit that in life, I was less than forthcoming when it came to what I did outside of work and family. I’m so sorry I didn’t have the courage to tell you. Now it can be known.